Thoughts...

Dear Vanessa,

Tomorrow is a Wednesday,
We have Maths2 lecture.
You were the one who has been sitting next to me for the past 2 to 3 months.
You were the one who motivated me to actually listen and not only hear what Sasha is teaching.
Now that you're not there to sit next to me, who will?
Now that you're not there to motivate me to concentrate, who will?
Suddenly I realise how strong you are as a pillar of strength.
You're like the Goddess of Study especially for me, Chen Yi and Nikko.
Now that you're not here to be the smarty pants you have always been, I'm not motivated to be as good as you anymore.
and now that you're not here to make Chen Yi actually want to study in the dining hall, he looks like someone who's been possessed by some sort of devil and have not been studying as hard as before.

I miss the times when you see me and call "baoo beiiiiiii"
and I miss the times how i get so irritated by your whiney voice yet still heart you so much because of your retarded-ness.
I miss the times when I just knock the door of your room and start sitting by your lappie playing "text twist"
I also miss the times when I look for you just to play the Lumines on your phone while listening to "Anyone Else But You" from Juno... come to think of it, I never got the chance to beat the last boss. dayum.
Remember Phillip Island? How you acted drunk in front of Chu Phu?
Remember when you had 3 shots and was giggling like a retard and I sent you back to your room?
Remember when I claimed that your retarded-ness level has increased to way higher than Andrew's and you agreed with me in the end? ( I still cannot stop laughing about that fact)
And you never sent me the pictures that you took with your camera in Phillip Island.
It's funny how you always say you don't like taking pictures and end up camwhoring with me. WEIRDO!
And and the times where we played basketball together in the cold weather until our hands were freezing because the floor was slightly wet?
You NEEDED the exercise remember? X)
I can go on forever.. I really can.. SO much memories we shared together in just a couple of months.

I miss you, you retarded, only have one emotion, crazy little girl.


Did you know that Stacey and Rachel went to visit you today?
Stacey told me that you talk alot about me.
She made me realise, how much more you actually mean to me than what I thought before.

Dan Dan once told me that God has a plan for everyone.
I don't mean to question God, but what plan has he in store for you? And for the rest of us who have attached a certain part of our little lives on your heart? And what about your family? It's just not fair for them to see the baby of the family having to suffer like that.
It just isn't.

Thursday we have Lit lecture.
You're not going to be there either.
I wonder who will I call and bug to get to the freaking lecture hall ASAP because I have to book seats for 7 other people. *rolls eyes*

I know you'll never be the same again.
So i make sure that I pen down every single special moment we had.
So you'll always be in my mind.

Your mum told us to not be distracted and pay attention to our studies to fulfill our dreams and commitment towards our family.
She also told us not to cry, but to use that strength to pray and hope for you.
Because of you, it made me realise also how motherly I have been all the time,
What your mum said today,
was what I said to the Block6 boys the past few days.

You made me realise alot of things I never did before Vanessa Ong Rong Xuan.
I'll keep and wear the awesome blue cotton on striped jacket that we have to remind me of your retardedness.

I miss you terribly.
Your mum has been very strong.
I will be too.
Because we all have hopes for you.
Your "family" all hopes and prays for you.

Lots and Lots and Lots of HEARTS.
your retarded friend/bao bei,
Han Yi