Feels Like A Metamorphosis

Funny things has been lurking in my mind whenever I close my eyes,
funny, almost absurd,
yet they all seemed so real.
The people, the places,
They were all so familiar to me,
yet i couldn't picture it all too clearly once i open my eyes.

Is there something inside me that's trying to tell me something?
I never remember dreams so clearly,
not as clearly as the ones I've been having.
Dreams or nightmares?
I dare not wish to find out whether there are worse than the ones i had.

In the middle of the night,
I'm disturbed by thoughts in my mind that I never encountered.
It was like looking at myself from another person's perspective.
As clear as it was, it still seemed very much of an abstract.

What's funniest is,
I feel that every dream I had lately,
was like a little lesson in life learnt,
as though I was learning how to grow up in my dreams.
Absurd! I know.
But it just seemed like it.

Now, even though my eye lids are heavy,
I dare not foresee what would I think of when I sleep again.
Last night was the worst.

If Freud's theory of the cause to dreams are our repressed sexual desires, I really would be speechless by then.
If only I could put the bits and pieces I have dreamed in words.
But I can't, because it was so unclear, yet clear,
that I couldn't tell apart from reality and fantasy.
That sentence totally did not make sense to anyone but myself.

Why?
Why these weird incidents playing in my mind now?
Especially when I'm sleeping?
Waking up in the middle of my sleep with my heart racing?
Not what I would've want for a dream.

And why can't I dream about maths and equations instead?
That would help so much right now.