Humans

What irks me the most,
and in the same time,
impresses me the most,
is the beautifully twisted ways of how the human mind works.

How we look into every aspect in life,
through our "instincts",
always looking for something to be happy for,
always looking for something to be upset for,
to be angry for,
to be excited for.

Survival instincts,
and the wonderful ability of humans to adapt.
Though every individual takes a different amount of time,
they end up adapting,
they always will and there's no way in denying that fact.

We all struggle, don't we?
At least that's what I'd like to think,
that I'm not alone in this,
STILL looking for myself.

I hate leaving a place where I already am comfortable with,
where I can call,
my home.

And when I move to another place,
I'll have to search for the "me",
that I'd left before.

IT'S SO ANNOYING.

one second, i'm this person,
the next, i'm just another lost girl,
in the midst of a crowd who expects the same person that left,
but I'm not,
and they know I'm not,
and it has turned into MY obligation to look for a balance,
between the me who I was before,
and the me who is now.

But we'll all adapt, won't we?
It's built in us to adapt.

The truth is,
I don't want to adapt,
I don't want to be the person people expected me to be,
I want to be me,
even though I've changed,
I still want to be me.

WHO THE HELL GOT A CULTURE SHOCK COMING BACK TO THEIR HOMELAND?

I need,
an angel,
to fucking guide me out of this mess in my head.