I wish..

I guess I've forgotten how it felt like to be around new people,
people that you don't know,
people that don't know you.
Be it how much they can take your jokes,
or to know when you're being sarcastic,
to how much they have a grudge against you,
for something that you never knew could've been offensice.

We're always learning,
and I want to stop learning about things like that,
because I don't want to have to go everywhere,
and all I have to do is please people,
why are we all so selfish?
Why do I have to always take a step back,
just so that someone who really isn't that special to me,
but is special to someone who's special to me,
can have a peaceful conversation with me?

I just want to go back to a place,
where we are all treated equally,
we know each other well enough,
we share the same sort of stupid humor.

Dammit,
I try to hide what I don't feel comfortable about,
because I'm the one at fault?
Because I'm just being myself,
and when someone just can't fucking accept the way I am,
I have to fucking take a step back?

Sure, laugh it off,
forgive and forget,
but I honestly,
don't know how to forgive myself,
for being such a pushover,
for never standing up for myself,
because someone has to take a step back.

who'd knew that there really are just times,
where you try to avoid problems,
and they come chasing after you,
one after another.

who'd knew,
that I was lucky enough to find a bunch of friends,
who would accept my humour,
forgive me as easily as I forgive them,
love me as much as I love them.

Just
fucking
get
me
out
of
this
goddamned
problems.