Black in all colours..

Mm.. I'm back to pour all what I think inside. Dear readers, have any of you ever felt at a certain moment that you were suddenly black.. So black no one can see you in this very beautiful colourful world? I felt that quite a lot of times. As human beings I believe we all love seeking attention. I hate to admit it, but isn't it true? Everytime we do something, we try to do our best, as we always want to give others a good first impression. And I happen to always screw things up when I try being what I'm not. Why does hypocrisy exist in this darn world? Can't everyone be truthful to this complicated world? Wouldn't that make us lead a better life? We don't lie to ourselves and we don't lie to others either. Again attention takes over our body, mind and soul. Everyone wants to be well-known, everybody wants other people to know that they have a new hairstyle, everybody wants others to know that they had new piercings. Indeed, I admit I do, and honestly, I like the attention. But there are more reasons to my piercings, and my new hairstyle. Sure, from the outside I look like i want attention, but deep down inside there are more compliated reasons to these changes. My piercings, I believe takes away my pain. It's as if when I have a hole there, the pain that I feel inside me just will leak out through there.. Slowly, and then I figured, it's moving out to slowly, so more piercings come. Sooner or later, it somehow became a trend among us 15 year olds or maybe younger. I don't know their reasons, but from the outside, it seems like everyone is trying to seek attention. Is it true? I do not know, and I will never know. But it sure seems like it.. I shall leave that to your own opinions my dear readers. All these made me realised that i cannot make assumptions about others by the outside. Because I hate people who do that to me too. So I shall not do so anymore. I feel guilty because it took me so long to realise that it hurts myself and others to do so. I hope my readers who does what i used to do will stop it and try eliminating that dumb act. I shall say thank you beforehand to those who are willing to change. Sometimes being dark in this colourful world sure does hurt. It's like you know you're not the only one living in this world, but yet you feel so alone. Yeah, I guess everyone felt that before. About losing friends, it will happen somehow someday right? Just that you have to do something to make sure you guys just keep on talking, I'll try my best. ge.And Zhen if you're reading this, I'm sorry I never kept in touch with you. And I'm sorry I did not wish you Happy Birthdays these 3 years when we were apart. I'll try my best to fix this mistake. Yeah, things will never be the same again, but honestly speaking. All I recall is that you and Ellen were my first best friends. Those memories I cherish and will never forget. I promise. To all my close friends, I do really hope when you guys are feeling black, or dark, you can always depend on me to fill all of you with colours. I'd love to do that, but don't mind me painting you blue and pink 'cause they're my favourite colours. =) I'm starting to change my mind about blogging, I don't have to only write my sorrows, I can write my happiness inside here too. I can be the clown I am in here too right? Be optimistic. =) I shall try very hard to not think negatively, I shall not sit down here and complain to on the internet about how bad my life can be, instead I'll find a way to solve the problems. But sure I'll comtinue to whine and nag inside here. This is my only place where I can blurt out everything. I feel so free saying anything I like in here. I don't need worry about people thinking I'm weird. Mm.. It shows the inner me. And I'm happy I started this blog. I feel happier in this mm.. haven.. yeah.. that's the word. Smile and the world will smile upon you. Mm.. now my title doesn't suit this blog. Well.. who cares? XD