Lonely?

Mm.. after writting that blog earlier today.. i feel so much better.. it feels like the burden on my shoulders has lighten.. and i do hope that whoever i was regarding to in the previous blog reads it.. Hmm.. am i lonely? I have Him.. But.. Why do i still feel empty? Is it because He can only be there for me sometimes and not always.. It feels so bad when I really need someone and He can't be there for me.. Will he ever take over the place SH has sat on for such a long time in my heart? SH has hurt me alot.. he left that scar on my heart.. Still unhealed.. And I can't seem to forget everything that he does to me.. The love and care he gave.. And also the shoutings and cryings we had together which seems to be the stronger force that created a havoc.. causing him to make a mistake of his life.. and also a mistake to mine. But I don't regret having being with him all those times. He taught me lots of things in life.. Things that couldn't be said in words nor in speech.. things that only can truly be seen and felt and experience in reality.. Things that no other normal 15 year old would go through..

I don't think I feel the same way I did,
who am I to kid?
He has been the best of all,
and yet he's also the worst of them all..

I can't foget about him,
I can't forget the way he treated me,
He treated me like his princess,
I can't forget his hugs and kisses.

Looks like no one is able to replace him,
I'm so confused everytime I get into another relationship,
they don't understand me like how he did,
and I guess I didn't bother to give anyone my key.

The key that leads to my heart,
the key that leads to what I'm thinking deep down inside,
I might be hurt by him, that jackass,
but I couldn't forget his unconditional love that was never less.

I'm so confused now, I'm unpredictable,
I hate myself for being so unstable,
how do i forget the way he treated me,
so I can give others a chance to know the best of me..

I never said that He isn't good enough for me. It's just that I think it takes time for me to realise that He is not SH and i have to stop being so unreasonable. I'm sorry my dear. I shall try harder and harder to cope with your love. I shall strive to get out of this little circle full of the bad and good memories I had with SH. Please give me time to adpat to this situation. This situation where I don't have SH to blame on. Where I don't have SH to whine on. And where I don't have SH to nag on. Bear with me if you really love me. I'm sorry, but if you can't wait, then you're just not the right one for me. Let time prove to me that you will always be there for me and you love me for who I am.