Deprived

Necessities.

Food.

Malaysia food to be exact.

Suddenly,
I miss Gardenia bread.
Is it just me,
or is it that Australian bread isn't just as great?

Lunch,
I don't remember the last time eating in a canteen
with a bunch of friends,
and not having to worry about being on time in class.

That peculiar feeling,
of having someone to nag at you constantly,
suddenly,
just all of the sudden,
dimmed.

Deprived,
of Malaysian food.
Deprived,
of my mummy's nagging,
Deprived,
i want to squeeze my little brother's face.
Deprived,
i want to fight with my other brother like i used to,
Deprived,
i want to be a big sister and be responsible again.

And to think that
I would be torturing myself lesser.
Coming back to a place
where i keep thinking about unnecessary things ever so often.

not homesick.
just deprived.

And it's freezing cold here.
But i do not miss the weather in Malaysia either.

Assignments all coming in.
Need
to
work
hard.

I've been thinking.
how come i never thought of a backup plan.
If i can never get into where i want to.

Shit.

I feel like i'm in deep shit.

"I'll make sure I'll end up a physiotherapist"

Who am i kidding?

someone

motivate me

someone

scold me

someone

i think

i just think

i need someone's love.

someone to nag upon me

someone to push me to my limits.

where are you?

"Who says miracles don't happen?"

Right.

You must be kidding me.